Drew O’Bannon describes themself as an “ethical slut.” perhaps, this is about the sex-positive book, “The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.
Drew advocates for one’s healthy pleasure as a writer, podcaster, sex educator and burlesque performer.
We chat with Drew on what brings them pleasure.
How would you introduce yourself at a dinner party?
I’d rather be introduced by a mutual friend because I get to hear them hype me up in their own specific way. I have a praise kink, obviously.
What’s on your bedside table?
On top of my bedside table are the nighttime essentials like skincare and a jug of water. Inside my bedside table is where the party is, as it’s where I store all my condoms, lube, and sex toys. I like keeping my tools within reach.
What gives you pleasure?
I take great pleasure in indulging people’s fantasies. Not just because I enjoy being a shapeshifter (Gemini things), but also because it allows them to explore freely without judgment, which encourages desire and self-esteem. Plus, if people feel safe, seen, and sexy with you, they’re also much more likely (and happy) to give you pleasure right back.
What would you advise your younger self on sex?
Great sex is less about how you look and perform and more about how you feel, so stop focusing on other people’s pleasure and start prioritizing your own.
Best sex tip?
Show up with enthusiasm and curiosity. Have conversations about sex – not just how you like it but also what it means to you. This shows that you’re willing to put in the work to make it a pleasurable experience for both of you, and nothing is sexier than that.
And if you don’t get it right the first time, remember that sex, like anything else, is a skill. Be open to making mistakes, laughing at awkward moments, and learning as you go.
Worst sex advice?
Any advice that doesn’t start with “talk to the person/s you’re having sex with.” While general techniques and tips can help you build a foundation, nothing works on everyone. Each person is completely unique in what they want from sex, and there’s no way to know what that is unless you share it with each other.
What’s the perfect date?
A 72-hour marathon (if you’re gay, you get it) of different activities and locations. Let’s go to a park, museum, cafe, concert, show, all of it, whatever. And be extremely inappropriate—almost obscene—the whole time.
Kink worth exploring?
Edging—it’s a great way to explore new power dynamics without necessarily introducing pain. I find that it can even be meditative and tantric, as you have to observe and respond to each other.
Most awkward sexual encounter? (If you want to answer! No stress though if you want to skip)
I once was on medication for a bacterial infection, which included both oral tablets and a vaginal suppository. I wanted to have sex, but penetration was obviously off the table because of the suppository. It was the end of the course, so I figured oral sex should be okay.
After a solid few minutes of getting eaten out, my partner emerges from between my thighs, pulling something white and rubbery out of my vagina with their mouth.
It was the suppository. I’m still mortified….
How are you celebrating pride month?
I’m celebrating Pride month this year mainly with family, both chosen and otherwise. I’m also learning how to integrate these aspects of myself instead of keeping them separate, which I hope will help me create stronger and more authentic relationships with the people in my life.