I, personally, don’t consider myself that addicted to sex (as a single person). I don’t do “casual,” I am not interested in threesomes, I do not engage in sexual activities with people I just met. However, when the clock strikes 12 at midnight, feeling lonely under my blanket, I become a sort of perverted Cinderella. That’s when I live my sex life vicariously through a very famous celebrity whose name rhymes with Wary Smiles, through smut that was either written by a virgin or an adult with a stable job.
The best sex you will ever receive is from a former chronically-online fangirl who has spent probably thousands of hours on their preferred fan fiction website. I remember when the time came for me. Finally, I was about to have sex. I was actually quite awkward the first time. But the second and following times however, I knew exactly what I wanted. And I thank fan fiction for that. My “experience” had my beautiful ex-girlfriend asking me over and over if I’ve ever done this before, because of how I was when we were having sex. I don’t know if she was just trying to glaze me, or because of my Aquarius moon. But I know definitely that the hours I was spending in Safari were one of the main reasons why. And honestly, I encourage this.
I believe that fan fiction or erotica is a safe way to explore and find out what gets you going. Rather than porn, reading will help you make use of your imagination. And with the adjectives these authors use in their work, they will surely have an effect on your body. Because, admit it: porn is trashy. You’re being fed with the visual of what you want being done to you. What? That’s it? You’re willing to sit through minutes of shitty acting just to watch one of your fantasies? Stop watching porn if you actually want to pleasure someone in real life.
I remember reading this one fan fiction when they were planning on roleplaying as doctor and patient in their kitchen. Not only is it domestic and intimate, it’s fucking sexy. You may feel like a voyeur, but then you can always remember the fact that everything is fictitious. In fan fiction there are different kinds of eroticas: eroticas with plot, eroticas wherein sex is integral in the story (they’re usually novels), and ones without plot—referred to as PWPs a.k.a. Porn Without Plot. PWPs can give you the experience of kicking your feet and the need to change your underwear. It teaches you how to be intentional with your moves during sex. What specifics you need to do in order to achieve the reaction you want from your sex partner. If you want to be rough, soft, sweet, caring. This can all be learned through PWPs.
Eroticas with Plot, however, can teach you how to foreplay. Well, hence the title. It is porn with plot. So naturally the more you get to read eroticas with plot, the more you see the formulas of how the sex builds up, how the tension is formed. Sex is always better with long, long, long, foreplay. If your partner is getting impatient. In my eyes, that means you’re doing something right.
But Mary, I don’t want to read about vanilla sex. If you’ve never been on a fan fiction website before, let me tell you about tags. If you’ve been on a porn site then maybe you would be familiar with the words that I’m about to type that have never been seen in the Bible. Tags are usually the genre or gist of the content you want to see in fan fiction. These tags helped me label what I was into. Never underestimate the tag function. There is always a fic that has exactly what you need. These tags range from vanilla sex, praise kinks, spanking, hair pulling to crying during sex, degrading kink, drunk sex, and sex dungeons. They have it all.
Although, not everything that is sexy in fan fiction is also sexy in real life. I must add this as a warning because, sometimes it could be the writing that is fooling you to think that it could be nice. Fan Fiction is just a vessel for fans to be able to imagine a bit more with their favorite pairs, and for the perverts, they are a vessel for their next sex fantasy. Everything is romanticized for a fan girl, these authors most probably have not done anything they have written about.
Always be a consensual partner when it comes to sex, don’t do things off of a whim. Do your research, fan fiction and porn is not enough. There are BDSM websites and reddit tags for a reason. Sex can be even more fun and beautiful especially when you don’t limit yourself. Sex is fun! So make it fun!
