Hands On, Lips On: The Great Debate of Hand Jobs Versus Blow Jobs

I was having a drink with a couple of friends at my favorite bar, when one of them dropped the bomb that would spark a week-long debate among us girls. "I don't know about you," she said, "but I think I prefer a good old-fashioned hand job to a blow job any day."

I nearly choked on my drink. "Have you lost your mind?"

And just like that, we found ourselves diving headfirst into the age-old question that's puzzled mankind since... well, since hands and mouths discovered there was more to do than just eat and wave hello.

Hand jobs vs. blow jobs - it's the sexual equivalent of "The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?" Everyone's got an opinion, and they're all convinced they're right. But as I sat there, watching my friends passionately argue their cases, I couldn't help but wonder: Is there really a universal preference? Or are we all just fumbling in the dark, trying to find what feels right?

Let's break it down, shall we?

The Hand Job: A Manual for Success?

Ah, the hand job. It's like riding a bike - we all learn how to do it eventually, usually in the back of someone's car or in a cinema that's showing a film we'll never be able to watch again without blushing. But is it just a stepping stone to 'bigger' things, or an art form in its own right?

Hand jobs require skill. It's not just about recreating your last aggressive handshake. As my friend once said, after a particularly disastrous date, "It's called a hand job, not a hand chore!"

According to a study published in the Journal of Sex Research, manual stimulation is a common and important part of sexual repertoires for many couples[1].

The Blow Job: Oral Fixation or Oral Fixation?

Now, onto the blow job - the act that launched a thousand ships (or at least a few questionable political scandals). It's the caviar of sexual acts - not everyone's cup of tea, but those who love it, really love it.

According to a survey that I'm sure made for some interesting dinner conversation, 70% of people rated receiving oral sex as 'very pleasurable'. Well, color me unsurprised. I always think that if one does not enjoy it, it means that you haven't been doing it right.

The blow job is like a three-act play. There's build-up, climax, and if you're lucky, a standing ovation. It's intimate, it's intense, and let's face it, it takes a certain amount of athleticism.

But here's the catch: not everyone's comfortable taking center stage in this particular performance.

A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that oral sex is associated with greater sexual satisfaction for both men and women[2].

So, What's a Girl (or Guy) to Do?

In the end, whether you're Team Hand Job or Team Blow Job, the real winner here is communication. Talk to your partner. Experiment. Find out what makes them tick, or in this case, tingle.

Here are some of my favorite resources: (You can thank me later!) 

• Hand Jobs
• Blow Jobs 

And remember, preferences can change. What rocked your world in your 20s might not even cause a tremor in your 30s. Be open, be adventurous, and for goodness sake, be enthusiastic.

Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy emphasizes the importance of sexual communication in relationship satisfaction[3].

So, there you have it. Hand jobs, blow jobs - in the end, it's not about the destination, it's about the journey. And what a fun journey it can be.

As I sat there, watching my friends continue their heated debate, I couldn't help but smile. Because in the grand symphony of sex, everyone has their own preference.

And just like that, I realized - in love and in sex, it's not about being right. It's about finding what's right for you.

[1] Herbenick, D., et al. (2010). Sexual behavior in the United States: Results from a national probability sample of men and women ages 14–94. The Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7(s5), 255-265.

[2] Backstrom, L., Armstrong, E. A., & Puentes, J. (2012). Women's negotiation of cunnilingus in college hookups and relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 49(1), 1-12.

[3] MacNeil, S., & Byers, E. S. (2009). Role of sexual self-disclosure in the sexual satisfaction of long-term heterosexual couples. Journal of Sex Research, 46(1), 3-14.