Come As You Are: How To Tickle Your Clitoris And Get The Pleasure You Deserve

  • Why Tickle - The Clitoris
  • Methods To Tickle The Clit
  • Tips for Tickling The Clit
  • Benefits of Tickling the Clitoris
  • Why Is My Clitoris Ticklish?
  •  Conclusion 

Do you remember that episode in Sex and The City where the girls discover that Charlotte has never looked at her vagina up close with a mirror? It goes something like this: 

Samantha: Oh, come on. You’ve never seen yourself up close and personal?
Charlotte: Carrie, have you seen yours that close?
Carrie: How did I get involved?
Miranda: Charlotte you’ve never looked at yourself with a hand mirror?
Samantha: Oh my god! Honey, I insist you go home right now and take a look or better yet take my compact and make a quick trip to the ladies room.

I feel the same way when it comes to my clitoris. Recently, someone tried a trick with me called the “flat pancake.” It’s where they go down on you with a flat tongue. The tongue doesn’t make any movement besides making big strokes from the bottom of the vagina to the top, where the clitoris is. 

 After a mind-blowing orgasm, I realized there are many possibilities for a clitoral orgasm. It’s worth paying a closer look down there, specific to the clitoris. 

So, why the clitoris? Why bother tickling it? 

Here’s a fun fact. The clitoris is made of about 6,000 to 10,000 nerves. The penis has just half of that. So, you can imagine that the clitoris is a powerful part of our female body. Let’s consider it the VIP of female pleasure.

Unlike other organs, the clitoris’s primary function is to provide sexual pleasure and arousal. As a result, it has a strong ability to make us feel good. How so? After an orgasm, there is a release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, activating the brain's reward system. This leads to sensations of pleasure, emotional bonding, and a sense of well-being. Dr. Pfaus, a Canadian neuroscientist, extensively researches and writes about this reward system. 

It’s not directly connected to reproduction or even excretion. Yet, there’s a lot of recent debate that it actually does have some connection to reproduction as shared in a clinical study reviewed by UK scientist Dr. Roy Levin in the journal Clinical Anatomy.

While the debate is still ongoing, let’s stick to its primary function in this deep dive. Let’s look at the  fundamentals, communication and techniques to make clitoral orgasms part of your sex life. 

Where is the clitoris, anyway? 

Perhaps, you’re like Charlotte. I suggest grab a hand mirror and look down there. Get familiar with your body for better communication in the bedroom. If you want to take it a step further, here’s a short history on this pleasurable part. 


Source: Vagina Museum Twitter

The clitoris is a small pea-sized part above the vagina opening near the urethra. Dr. Helen O'Connell, an Australian urologist, was the first to discover the internal and external part of a clitoris in 2005 by doing MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) scans on the female anatomy.

The G-spot is relatively close to the clitoris, but it is inside the vagina, while the clitoris is located outside. Because of the closeness of the G-spot to the clitoris, some people may experience pleasure and arousal when both areas are stimulated at the same time during sexual activities. Most people experience orgasm by clitoral stimulation, rather than g-spot stimulation. 

Outside your body, you can find: 

  • Glans clitoris - it’s the tiny nub right above your pee hole. It's super sensitive because it's jam-packed with nerve endings, making it all tingly when you give it some love.
  • Clitoral hood  - Imagine your labia minora, the inner lips of your vagina, converging at the upper part of your vulva to create a clitoral hood. It's like a little cover for the glans, and it can be long, short, or somewhere in between – totally up to your clitoral style!

Inside your body, you can find: 

  • Body (corpora) - This is the central part that hangs out behind the glans. Think of it as the solid top part of the wishbone, no divisions here!
  • Cruca - The clitoral crura are two parts of the clitoris that look like legs and form a V-shape. They connect to the pubic arch and become filled with blood during sexual arousal, just like the rest of the clitoris.
  • Vestibular bulbs - they are tucked between the crura and your vaginal wall. When you're all fired up, they get filled with blood and can even double in size – talk about getting pumped up!
  • Root - The root of the clitoris refers to the internal part of the clitoris, which is not visible from the outside. 

     If you’re like me, these parts were all foreign to me. I only knew of the clitoral hood. Now that we know all the parts, we can have some fun and understand the methods and tips that can help you reach a state of orgasm. 

    What methods are there for tickling the clitoris? 

    I don’t know about you, but some women out there put their man’s pleasure first. I’ve certainly been that way, always pleasing the man first. 

     But I’ve learned that part of self-care is putting your pleasure first. And in this case, put your clitoris first. 

    Here are some methods I’ve learned that can tickle the clitoris: 

    1. Play with sex toys. Sex toys are a welcome addition to intimate moments. And what’s best about them is they come in so many shapes, sizes and functionalities. You can try out vibrators, dildos or other toys to tickle the clitoris. You can try toys solo or even part of partner play. 

     Jellytime offers pleasure toys that can stimulate a clitoris. The Bobble’s round head can be put in contact with the clit and gives a consistent vibration in the area. The Chinchilla’s ears can provide stimulation in the clitoris while the other ear can be inserted in the vagina.
     The bean creates suction waves in the clitoris that simulates oral sex.  Lastly, the Deuce’s two prong built can provide penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time. This toy replicates a penis entering your vagina. Whichever toy you choose to experiment with, the clitoris won’t be left behind. 
    2. Let the hand do its job. Using one's hands to explore and caress the clitoral region can be incredibly intimate and personalized. The hands provide a level of control that allows for responsiveness and gentleness. The skin contact is unbeatable. You can play around with the number of fingers, the types of strokes, direction of movement, the intensity of pressure and speed to see what best moves give you an orgasm. 
     3. There’s nothing like a proper licking technique.  Oral sex is a widely recognized method of pleasuring a partner. A licking technique, when done right, can guarantee a clitoral orgasm because of the tongue’s wetness and the many kinds of moves it can make. I recommend trying one trick at a time to see which suits your clitoris. It’s also crucial to communicate with your partner how to best lick your clitoris so that you get the pleasure you deserve. 
     4. Play with textures like feathers, silk, velvet and such. Just look at your closet; there’s bound to be some fabric you can play with. In my experience, I’ve played with feathers, silk, and even an ice cube. These different textures are a surprise for your clitoris. It’s a way to bring something new into the bedroom. 
     All these methods are great, but communicate before, during and after when it comes to partner play. With solo play, it’s up to you. But, with partner play, communication becomes a natural lubricant. Here are some simple prompts I like to use: 
  • Before 
  • To add anticipation in partner play, you can always drop this line: “I’d really like to try this (insert method).” This way, you’re planting the seed and motivating your partner to try a technique. 
  • During
  • Sometimes, during sex, it’s best to moan and use simple phrases like “That feels good.” 
    Remember that your partner is no mind reader. They need to know they are going in the right direction. 
  • After
  • Debriefing is one of the most important and underutilized communication steps in the bedroom. Try asking, “How did you like that?” 

     Tips for Tickling The Clitoris 

    1. Creating the right ambience is crucial for a pleasurable experience. Setting the scene involves ensuring privacy, comfort, and relaxation. Dim the lights, play soft music, or use scented candles to create a soothing atmosphere. Feeling safe and comfortable allows individuals to focus on their sensations.
    2. Get to know the area. Every clitoris is unique, and exploring and understanding what brings pleasure to the individual is essential. Encourage open communication with partners to learn about their preferences, likes, and dislikes. Take the time to explore the clitoral region during solo play, as this self-awareness can lead to more satisfying experiences during partner play.
    3. Build a crescendo. Go gradual. Clitoral stimulation is often more effective when gradually building arousal. Begin with gentle touches, teasing motions, or using softer sex toys to awaken the senses. As arousal intensifies, increase the pressure or speed to match the partner's response. Building up to a climax slowly can lead to more robust and satisfying orgasms.
    4. Practice mindfulness. Being present and fully engaged at the moment enhances the overall sexual experience. Avoid distractions and focus solely on the sensations experienced during clitoral stimulation. Mindfulness allows individuals to connect with their bodies and emotions, making the experience more intimate and fulfilling.
    5. Lube it up. Lubricants reduce friction, making touching and rubbing more enjoyable. You can even try Jellytime’s natural water-based personal lubricant infused with aloe and hyaluronic acid for sensitive skin. 
    6. Make the most of edging. Edging is the practice of bringing oneself or a partner to the brink of orgasm and then backing off before reaching climax. Repeating this process can lead to more intense and prolonged orgasms when finally allowed to climax.
     7. Pick the right sex position.  Examples would be cowgirl or woman on top. Some sexual positions offer better access to the clitoral region than others. Experimenting with different positions can create exciting sensations during partnered play.
     8. Try different directions of movement. Use either your finger, toy or tongue and experiment with motions that go up and down, side-to-side and circular. You can also play around with varying pressures or speed to find what works best for maximum pleasure. 

     What are the benefits? 

    • Get aroused! There’s a lot of anticipation, desire, intense pleasure and a better sex life. 
    • Reach a stronger orgasm. Stimulating the clitoris can lead to more intense and powerful orgasms. The concentration of nerve endings in this area makes it highly responsive to touch, increasing the likelihood of achieving orgasmic bliss.

    Why is the clitoris ticklish? 

    Source: Science American

    According to the famous study of Masters and Johnson on a female’s sexual response, the clitoris is ticklish because of its rich nerve supply and sensitivity. It contains a high concentration of nerve endings, making it one of the most sensitive parts of the human body. 

    When touched or stimulated, these nerve endings send signals to the brain, triggering a pleasurable and sometimes ticklish sensation. 

    The clitoral tissue also becomes engorged with blood during arousal, which can increase its sensitivity and make it even more responsive to touch, leading to ticklish sensations for some women. 


    Whether you try the methods and tips I’ve listed, the bottom line is tickling the clitoris creates a pleasurable sensation. Why is this spot even so pleasurable? Again, it’s in the number of nerve endings that surpass the nerve endings of a penis. It’s almost double. That’s a powerhouse for the female orgasm. 

    The key here is to apply a light, gentle, attentive touch, solo or with a partner. And, of course, take the time because you deserve this kind of pleasure. Putting your pleasure first is a form of self-care. 


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