Gaslighting and other terms you need to know while dating in the 21st century
Dating in this generation is not easy, to say the least. Before you send that first message on Bumble or reply to your situationship in your Instagram DMs, it might be worth it to go through a 21st century glossary full of the new terms you need to know.
Online dating and forming new connections nowadays can be nuanced and complicated with all the new lingo and terms being tossed around and created every week. But don’t worry, we’ve got you covered! Here’s a guide to trends, terms, words, and everything in between that comes with dating in today's day and age:
Have you ever argued with someone and then began doubting your own perception of what you’ve been through or experienced? If you answered yes, chances are you’ve been gaslighted. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, gaslighting is defined as “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.”
This is typically done not only in toxic romantic relationships, but also within families or even friendships. It’s important to watch out for this early on so that you don’t get stuck in a dangerous cycle that may put your own emotional and mental stability on the line.
Love-bombing sounds pretty, but it sure doesn’t feel or look good. Love bombing is characterized by someone showering you with excessive admiration, attention, and affection — sounds like a fairytale, right? Well, that’s not all there is to it. It becomes dangerous and toxic because it is actually a tactic used by narcissists and abusers in order to take control over you.
One common example of this is when the victim of a love-bomber goes through an argument with their partner. After they [the love bomber] have dramatically begged for forgiveness and showered you with grand gestures (like extravagant gifts or words of affirmation), the victim is expected to give them yet another chance and the toxic cycle repeats itself. This is dangerous because the person experiencing this may not even be aware of the situation they’re in because they’re so blinded by the extremities of the affection they receive. The highs are high and the lows are dangerously low.
Just listen to this recent story on The Sexytime Podcast to hear a perfect example of this!
Breadcrumbs are no longer just the remnants of your salad croutons or sandwiches. Along with the other terms stated earlier, this is yet another toxic trait to look out for especially while you’re still in the dating scene or getting to know someone new. Someone who breadcrumbs is basically someone who leads you on in a very unpredictable manner. Think of the song Hot N Cold by Kary Perry.
“Someone who breadcrumbs leads you on by dropping small morsels of interest — an occasional message, phone call, date plan, or social media interaction. These happen sporadically and usually don’t have any followthrough.”
Unfortunately, many people fall for this because they love clinging onto false hope or the idea that maybe Mr. Emotionally Unavailable might change for you all of a sudden. If you love yourself, please save yourself the time and energy before investing in someone who doesn’t care about you.
You’ve probably heard of this term thousands of times before, but we had to include it here because it's a classic. It's either you’ve ghosted or been ghosted, and for whatever reason it happened, just know it happened to half of the population too. Why is ghosting such a huge phenomenon in our world today? Before answering that question, let’s refresh your memory on what exactly ghosting is.
Being ghosted is similar to an actual ghost - someone just vanishing into thin air and haunting your life forever. Okay, it’s not as dramatic as that but it’s pretty close. Ghosting is a new dating term that refers to “abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so.” So to answer the first question, ghosting is probably common because it’s the easy way out. Sometimes people simply don’t want to give other people an explanation or are naturally inconsiderate about their feelings. Or, they may just be going through their own personal issues too. Who knows? Being ghosted sucks, but it happens to the best of us and you’ll get over it eventually.
Have you been single all year but are still going through relationship problems? Do you talk to someone all day and not have a label? Do you not know if you have a fuck buddy or a long term relationship? If you answered yes to those questions, you’re most probably in a situationship.
This form of relationship (or lack thereof) is popular nowadays because it gives us what we want - no commitment with the thrill of being in a relationship. No, it's not the same as having a fuck buddy because in this case, you don’t actually know what you’re in. Are you even in any kind of relationship? You may never know. This term reminds us of why
it's important to DTR (define the relationship). But if you’re the type of person who does enjoy intimacy without commitment, a situationship may just be the perfect thing for you.
Hopefully, you're not a victim of these terms. And if you are, just practice a bit of self-love and focus on yourself. Try out the Deuce or any of Jellytime's pleasure toys and invest in your self-care. Don't worry, you get discreet nationwide shipping from your trusted sex shop in the Philippines. Find us also at Shopee and Lazada.
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